Uh-Oh, I Think We're A Crack Fic!
by Corliss Kat
Summary: There is a town in Maine, where the whole extended Charming family is...a crack fic! (I own nothing.)
1. Spongy

Henry was in the middle of eating breakfast.

"Look, if wanted to get the starfish, I would have," said David, loudly. He was on the phone. "I got the shell for a reason." There was a pink seashell on the kitchen table. "No, I don't have a thing against starfishes!" At this point Henry was staring at David. "NO! Okay, okay. Fine. Bye, Grandma." David hang up. Henry was looking at him. "You agree, right? The shell is much better than the starfish."

Henry stared at David before saying: "Sure..."

"Good," David said, picking up the shell and whispering: "We understand you," to it.

"What's wrong with Grandpa?" Henry asked Snow who was staring at the window.

"Henry," she said in a dazed voice. "Have you ever noticed that Storybrooke is so very, very pretty?"

"Umm...sure," Henry said, backing away slowly. He quickly turned to go find Emma.

"Emma, what the cat is going on here?" Henry asked, finding his mom siting on the stairs.

"I don't know Henry, but come poke the sponge!" Emma giggled as she spoke. Henry looked down to see Emma poking a sponge with a toothpick.

"I think I'm just going to for a walk..." Henry turned and ran strait out of the house.

"Bye, Henry," Emma called behind him, then turned back to her sponge. "Spongy, spongy, spongy!"

Henry saw Regina walking towards him. "Hi, Mom!" He waved, hoping to finally hear some sense.

"Henry," Regina waved her hand for Henry to come close so she could whisper in his ear. "It's gonna rain popsicles in three minutes."

"What?"

"Be prepared!" With that, she took off, giggling like an idiot.

Henry stared after her, then noticed Belle and Gold walking across the street. He quickly ran to them.

"Guy's, everyone is acting like they're-"

"Shh, Henry, you're gonna wake the narwal!" Belle said, cutting him off.

"What narwal?" He asked.

"The narwal," Gold said pointing to the sky. "Don't wake it up!"

"But that's just a cloud..."

"Shun the nonbeliever!" Belle exclaimed, pointing at Henry.

"Shun!" Belle and Gold said in unison.

"Ok... I'm just gonna keep walking." Henry said slowly.

"Bye Henry, remember the narwal!"

Henry started to walk towards the diner, when he ran into Hook.

"Hello, Henry," Hook greeted him.

"Hi. Everyone is acting so weird today!" Henry shouted, then paused for a few seconds. "What are you doing?"

"Cora turned my hook into a doughnut!" Hook said, taking a huge bit of his "hook". At that moment, Cora walked up to them.

"You are about to wake up from the weirdest dream," said Cora in a strange voice.

Henry bolted out of bed screaming.

"Henry!" Emma, Snow, and David ran into the room. They all looked alarmed. "What happened?"

"I just had the weirdest dream!"

"Well it's all over..."

Just then the window opened. Gold popped his head in. "Narwal," was all he said before he popped back out and pulled the window shut.

* * *

**Hey guys, I'm planing on making this a long fic about Henry's entire family becoming crack ficed.**

**Please review!**


	2. Talking Ginger

"Hey, guys," said Snow as she walked into the room. "I got this new app called 'Talking Ginger.'"

"Hey guys I got this new app called talking ginger," repeated this orange cat that they all could see when Snow held up the phone.

"What is it?" asked Emma.

"What is it?" repeated the orange cat in a higher and slightly faster voice.

"Stop that," said Emma.

"Stop that," repeated the orange cat.

"Whatever. I'm leaving." Emma seemed really annoyed. She walked out of the room.

"I'm going to go tell everyone about it," said Snow.

"I'm going to go tell everyone about it."

Snow went out to go find some people to tell. She walked up to Gold's shop. She opened the door, ignoring the closed sign that was always up.

"Hey Gold," said Snow after she found Gold. "I have a surprise for you."

"Please don't tell me its a family dinner," said Gold. "Because if it is, I'm not going."

"No, it's not a family dinner." Snow held up her phone. "Say something," she whispered.

"What is that," said Gold as he eyed the orange cat.

"What is that," mimicked the cat.

"Why is it saying what I'm saying?"

"Why is it saying what I'm saying?"

"Snow! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR PHONE?!"

"Snow! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR PHONE?!"

"It's a new app called 'Talking Ginger,'" said Snow.

"It's a new app called 'Talking Ginger,'" repeated Ginger.

"Well," said Gold. "Get it out of my shop."

"Well," said Ginger. "Get it out of my shop."

"Now," said Gold.

"Now," said Ginger. Snow left the shop.

Her next stop was Regina's house. Snow rang the door bell. "Regina!" Snow sang. "I have a surprise for you!"

Regina opened the door. "If it's a family dinner, I refuse to go!"

"Uh, no, It's not a family dinner." Snow held up her phone.

"Well then," said Regina. "Get off my...What is that." Regina was obviously referring to the orange cat on the phone in front of her.

"Well then get off my what is that," said the cat.

"Snow," whispered Regina. "I think a creature is trying to take over your phone."

"Snow I think a creature is trying to take over your phone."

"No," said Snow with a giggle. "It's a new app called 'Talking Ginger.'"

"No it's a new app called talking ginger," said the cat.

"Well," said Regina. "Whatever it is, GET IT AWAY FROM ME!"

"Well whatever it is GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" said Ginger.

Snow walked away. Next she wanted to find Hook.

"Hey, Hook," called Snow when she saw Hook. "I have a surprise for you."

"I am not going to the family dinner party!"

"Why does everyone think that my surprise is a dinner party?" Snow asked. "The surprise is this." Snow held up Ginger.

"What is it?" asked Hook.

"What is it?" repeated Ginger.

"It's a cat that repeats everything you say," said Snow.

"It's a cat that repeats everything you say."

"Wait," said Hook. "Did you just say that it's a cat?"

"Wait. Did you just say that it's a cat?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Hook ran away screaming.

The next day everyone was in Gold's shop.

"Hey, guys," said Snow. "I found another app. It's called 'Talking Angela.'"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" They all screamed.


	3. A Family Boat Trip

The whole family was on Hooks ship. They were sailing out to find a beach so that Snow could collect seashells.

"Are we there yet?" asked Henry, impatiently.

"I don't know," said Emma. "I don't even know who's driving this thing."

"Oh, no one is," said Cora.

"What!?" cried Emma, spitting out the water that she was about to drink.

"I used magic to make it steer itself," said Cora in a calm voice. She walked away to go tell Gold something.

A few minutes later Hook walked up to make an announcement.

"Okay," he said. "I lost my hook, but I found something better." He pulled his hand from behind his back. There was a cup where the hook normally was. Everyone was staring. "It's a cup." Everyone kept staring. "You know, the thing you drink with?"

"We know what it is," said Regina. "But why do you have it?"

"Because I lost my hook." Cora and Gold started to snicker. Everyone looked at them.

"You've been Cora'd!" Cora ran to the other side of the deck.

"She realizes that we're on a boat and that she can't exactly run anywhere, right?" asked Regina.

"I don't know," said Emma.

"OH MY GOD!" screamed Belle. "IT'S A NARWAL!"

Emma peered into the water. There was nothing there. "Theres no narwal, Belle."

"Oops," said Belle. "False alarm."

Snow pulled something out of her pocket. It looked like a pen, but then she made it make a small red laser light. She pointed it on Cora's head.

"The dot!" cried Henry. "It's back!" He ran up to Cora and jumped on her in an attempt to catch the light.

"AAHHHHHHH!" screamed Cora,trying to get Henry off of her head. "GET OFF ME!"

It looked like Henry was clawing her hair.

"Henry, get down from Cora's head!" called Emma.

"Are we almost at the beach?" asked Snow. Just then the boat came to a sudden stop.

"What happened?" asked David.

"OH MY GOD!" screamed Gold. "IT'S A NARWAL!" This time, there actually was a narwal.

"What do we do?!" Hook asked Emma.

"You asking me?" yelled Emma. "Your the pirate!"

"I've never deeled with a narwal before!" he yelled back. "What is a narwal, anyway?"

"It's that!" yelled Emma, pointing at the water. There was a creature that looked like a whale but had a horn on it's head.

"I don't know what to do with a unicorn whale!" cried Hook.

"It's not a unicorn whale, it's a narwal!" yelled Emma. And then the narwal just swam away.

"That was weird," said Regina.

"Look," said Snow. "There's the beach!"


	4. The Diary

"Emma!" called Snow. "Have you seen my diary!"

"Whatever mom," said Emma.

* * *

At Mr. Gold's shop. "Gold, do you have anything good in this shop?" asked Regina.

"I have Snow's diary," replied Gold.

"GIVE IT TO ME!" demanded Regina.

"I will if you give me your all your moms jewelry."

"Why do you want my moms jewelry?"

"She cast a spell on them so that they will always be shiny. I like shiny things."

"Fine."

* * *

At Regina's house. "So, mom," said Regina to Cora. "I traded Mr. Gold all your jewelry."

"You did what?!" shouted Cora.

"For Snow's diary."

"I get it after you finish it."

"Fine."

* * *

Where ever Hook spends his time. "Hey, Hook," said Cora. "I have a very interesting book for you." She holds up the diary.

"I haven't read something good in years. Hand it over," said Hook.

"Fine."

* * *

At Grannies Diner. "I was reading Snow's diary," said a random citizen. "And she is so dumb. She doesn't even know have to spell 'Charming'. She spells it 'Chramin'."

Snow heard that person talking. She grabbed their wrist and said, "TELL ME WHERE MY DIARY IS!" The person took the diary out of her purse and gave it to Snow. Snow snachted it and checked to see if anyone had changed anything. The only thing different was on the last page it said "You've been Gold'd, Regina'd, Cora'd, and Hook'd."


	5. The Prank Call

Henry was sitting in the kitchen reading. The phone rang. He picked it up.

"Hello?" he asked into the phone.

"How many licks does it take to get to the center of the tootsyroll in a tootsypop?" replied the person on the other end of the phone.

"What?" asked Henry. He had no idea who was calling him.

"Narwhale," said the person on the other end. Henry hung up. He went back to reading.

About a minute later the phone rang again.

"Hello?" asked Henry. He was hoping that it wasn't the same person calling.

"I'm going to eat your toes while you're sleeping!" replied the person on the other end.

"Who is this?" asked Henry.

"Narwhale." Henry hung up. He went back to reading.

The phone rang again.

"What?" said Henry. He wasn't sure if he should be annoyed or creeped out.

"Narwhale." Henry hung up. He picked up his book and went back to reading.

The phone rang.

"What do you want?!" asked Henry.

"Hey, this is Mark calling from AT&T," said someone in a different voice. "Your phone bill is..."

"I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR TOES WHILE YOU'RE SLEEPING!" came the voice Henry had heard all the times before.

"Dude, come on!" shouted Henry before he hung up. He picked up his book.

The phone rang again.

Henry sighed. "Hello?"

"Look behind you."

Henry turned around. "There's nothing there."

"Look again, sparky."

Henry turned around. He saw a narwhale in the window. He dropped the phone.

5 phone calls earlier, Gold and Bell were sitting in Gold's shop.

"Today is so boring," said Bell. "Nothing happened."

"There's still time for something to happen," said Gold.

"Like what?" asked Bell. Then Gold got a perfect idea.

Gold went over to Snow, Charming, Emma, and Henry's house and planted a invisible camera. Then he sent 5 prank calls to Henry, who was at the counter reading. After all of them he held up a huge picture of a narwhale. Gold and Bell watched that video for the rest of the day, cracking up.

* * *

**Hello all! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. As some of you might have guessed, this chapter was based on a YouTube video. Thanks for reading! **


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